Sunday, July 12, 2009

What's in the bucket?

I too, was thinking of the verse in James 2:18, "Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works." ....But I also thought of the idea that without faith it is impossible to please God ...and that in fact all our righteousness (works) are as filthy rags. So in my thinking, I'm working backwards from the the being.... We can practice for years....but is there not a time to become accomplished at that it is not only a discipline....but it has become our nature?

I know that I have beeing applying scripture and concepts of "faith" to my ponderings on "love" but I think I'm not too far off track in doing it.

I sometimes think of the story of a person carrying a bucket....and the true contents (whether acid or refreshing water) not being known until there is an upset. I think it's possible to go through the motions....trying to work out (or work up) love, but when trouble comes, the heart's contents are revealed.

I'm looking for the poem about being comfortable in love...but found a bit by RW Emerson, on anger which resonates,

"When some of those cutting, sharp, blighting words have been spoken which send the hot, indignant blood to the face and head, if those to whom they are addressed keep silence--look on with awe, for a mighty work is going on within them, and the spirit of evil, or their guardian angel, is very near to them in that hour. During that pause they have made a step towards Heaven or towards hell, and an item has been scored in the book which the day of judgement shall see opened."

Ha....well I have often wondered about that Heavenly score book in my younger years. This is what I have been working at for some years now...but I think it's time to go beyond simply anger management. It is true, that at the moment RWE is describing, we are working out of our Father's resourses...not our own, and in the process we are becoming more like Him, and my goal has been to just become the person who naturally keeps silence at such times.....but the question....why must there always be anger? And why must there always be silence? Why can't their be true speech....expecting and crediting each other with the highest of motives because we see them as THAT person..... This is what I'm hoping for...the sentiment expressed in the poem that I can't quite find... OK....I found it Tribute...(or I Love You) by Roy Croft...Here it is:

I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I amWhen I am with you.
I love you,
Not only for whatYou have made of yourself,
But for whatYou are making of me.
I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can’t help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing outInto the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.
I love you,
Because you are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
Out of the works of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.
I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.
You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.
Perhaps that is what
Being a friend means,
After all.”

I think this poem expresses what it is that I am aspiring to. Not just to have...but to share. I relate to the poem, not because it has been my experience, but it is my strong desire that someday, somehow, it will be.... We can work out our a spiritual discipline, if you will, but after years of working on it....of honing it, should it not at some point become our nature? (as it is Father's) to love. My desire to become skilled and natural at GIVING this kind of love too....from my heart....not just as a spiritual discipline...

This is not a very articulate post. I am simply making an attempt to express my thoughts in order to work them out.


mamazee said...

I think it's very articulate. And i feel this way when i am ranting about injustice, and people want me to shush and just show grace. Because even if we love other people, we don't want to let them *keep* sinning against us. It may be good for our own souls, as we learn to rely on the Father to give us what we need to respond in a Godly fashion, but it does nothing for those who would take advantage of that to stay where they are. A good example might be a battered wife. A lot of the groups i'm in right now online (conservative groups of mothers with many small children) are advocating a book by Debi Pearl called "Created to Be His HelpMate"... Which basically says, even if he's abusing you or your children in the most horrible way, wait for him and pray for him while he's in prison and then welcome him back. But i think there needs to be more emphasis put on the "call the police" part. Love seeks truth. Love seeks transparency. Love sees honor and goodness, gentleness, patience, kindness, self control. And just as you used to correct us, telling us "i'm doing this so other people can stand to be around you!" sometimes we correct the ones we love, to help unclog streams that are blocked maybe through lack of use, maybe through some other method... to help the one who has offended us get free of what is holding them back.

jessica jespersen said...

I guess when i read this i *get* what you're saying... but i see works as part of the content of the heart. "Works" shows a tenderness and willingness to love. Some people say they love and then never "do" anything about that supposed love. I would prefer seeing it than just having to have faith that love is there. Sometimes you have to hear it, you have to feel it in a tangible way to build faith of love... faith/hope/love are intertwined

jessica jespersen said...

p.s. That poem was one of the ones on my wedding bulletin. I love it too. :) -j