What's in the bucket?

I too, was thinking of the verse in James 2:18, "Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works." ....But I also thought of the idea that without faith it is impossible to please God ...and that in fact all our righteousness (works) are as filthy rags. So in my thinking, I'm working backwards from the doing....to the being.... We can practice for years....but is there not a time to become accomplished at love....so that it is not only a discipline....but it has become our nature?

I know that I have beeing applying scripture and concepts of "faith" to my ponderings on "love" but I think I'm not too far off track in doing it.

I sometimes think of the story of a person carrying a bucket....and the true contents (whether acid or refreshing water) not being known until there is an upset. I think it's possible to go through the motions....trying to work out (or work up) love, but when trouble comes, the heart's contents are revealed.

I'm looking for the poem about being comfortable in love...but found a bit by RW Emerson, on anger which resonates,

"When some of those cutting, sharp, blighting words have been spoken which send the hot, indignant blood to the face and head, if those to whom they are addressed keep silence--look on with awe, for a mighty work is going on within them, and the spirit of evil, or their guardian angel, is very near to them in that hour. During that pause they have made a step towards Heaven or towards hell, and an item has been scored in the book which the day of judgement shall see opened."

Ha....well I have often wondered about that Heavenly score book in my younger years. This is what I have been working at for some years now...but I think it's time to go beyond simply anger management. It is true, that at the moment RWE is describing, we are working out of our Father's resourses...not our own, and in the process we are becoming more like Him, and my goal has been to just become the person who naturally keeps silence at such times.....but the question....why must there always be anger? And why must there always be silence? Why can't their be true love...free speech....expecting and crediting each other with the highest of motives because we see them as THAT person..... This is what I'm hoping for...the sentiment expressed in the poem that I can't quite find... OK....I found it Tribute...(or I Love You) by Roy Croft...Here it is:

I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I amWhen I am with you.
I love you,
Not only for whatYou have made of yourself,
But for whatYou are making of me.
I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can’t help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing outInto the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.
I love you,
Because you are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
Out of the works of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.
I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.
You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.
Perhaps that is what
Being a friend means,
After all.”

I think this poem expresses what it is that I am aspiring to. Not just to have...but to give...to share. I relate to the poem, not because it has been my experience, but it is my strong desire that someday, somehow, it will be.... We can work out our love...as a spiritual discipline, if you will, but after years of working on it....of honing it, should it not at some point become our nature? (as it is Father's) to love. My desire to become skilled and natural at GIVING this kind of love too....from my heart....not just as a spiritual discipline...

This is not a very articulate post. I am simply making an attempt to express my thoughts in order to work them out.

love

I know so little about this subject but have been impressed with an insight in the form of a question lately. The question is this:

Is it preferable to:
1...have love demonstrated in meaningful ways....
2...simply be loved...(truly)

I am thinking in personal terms as well as spiritual terms. I think we often think we can prove we love by doing....and we fall into the trap of works which do not neccessarily prove we love...only that we wish to be seen to love. At the same time, if we love, we will show it in our actions...but it won't matter so much that we are seen to love...simply that we do love.

I guess there are times when we need to act...(to demonstrate in meaningful ways)...love....just to demonstrate our desire to love when we find our love inadequate...and maybe there is a fine line (but there is a line) between the demonstration of and the actual fact of love. I think I see how Father desires the truth of love rather than the deeds.... Deeds can be done without the truth...but the truth can't exist without the deeds. I'm praying that Father will teach me to love as He does....truly.